Mine
by badvamps26
Summary: This is what happens after Melanie gets her body back, written from her perspective. Covers everything from the time she wakes up through the time when they meet Burns. More chapters to come. Please review!
1. Awakening

Chapter 1: Awakening

_(Melanie)_

The muddle of voices in the background woke me from the best sleep I'd had in...well, too long to remember. I heard it grow in volume as I sighed and tried to force my unwilling eyes open, only to be blinded by light. As my eyes adjusted, I could see that there were cracks and holes in the ceiling, but I had no idea where the blinding light was coming from...wait. What the _hell_? I was thinking like Wanda! I laughed to myself, knowing she'd been in my head far too long, and I waited for her to think some kind of snide comment about how she was getting to m–

Wait. Where _was_ she? What was happening? _I _was the one who had seen the light, not Wanda. Wanda had left. NO! I felt the tears running down my face, but I was so heartbroken with the loss of my friend that I couldn't even stop to enjoy the sensation of the tears on my cheeks, as good as it felt to _feel_ again. My vision was beginning to come back into focus, and I could see the faces of all the people my Wanderer loved. Doc, Ian, Lily, Trudy, Jamie, J–

"JARED!" I squeaked, now realizing how parched I was and how little I cared. His arms were around me in an instant. Me. Melanie Stryder. Being held for the first time in almost five years by the man I loved. He kissed me gently, but it quickly grew in intensity. My arms wound around his neck, and for a moment I was completely lost. It wasn't until a few people cleared their throats that we remembered where we were. And then I remembered Wanda again. The tears came again, and I felt Jared's fingers running through my hair as he attempted to calm me.

"Shh, Mel, it's okay. I'm right here. Everything's fine. You're okay. I love you." he said calmly. I felt his lips touch my forehead.

"No, no, no," I sobbed. "She's gone. Wanderer is gone. She wouldn't stay. I...I tried to make her stay, but she said there was no other way." I searched for Ian, remorse in my eyes. "I'm so sorry Ian," I apologized to the whole room, whether he was there or not. "I tried to tell her how much we need her, but she wouldn't listen. I know you loved her, and I'm..." My voice broke and I couldn't say any more; I could only sob like a child. I felt to stupid, so helpless. I couldn't save her. I wasn't strong enough to stop her, and I had failed both Ian and Wanda.

"Mel, it's going to be okay," I heard Jared crooning again. I just cried like a weak little baby in response. I was stronger than this, or at least I had been. I guess things change once you've had a Soul living in your body for over a year. I knew why I had become so weak. I had fought so hard to keep Wanda from completely taking control in the early days, and I had won; but now look at me: how ironic that such a huge part of me would have given anything to have her back, even if it meant losing control of my own body again forever.

"Melanie Stryder, look at me." Jared's voice was stern now. It seemed so different to hear it through my own ears again, and not through Wanda's ears. He took my face in his hands.

"I'm sorry," I said, taking a deep breath.

"Don't apologize. I know you're worried but hold on. Look at me. Wanderer is fine. She's not going anywhere. I realized after that last talk with her just what she was planning to do, and I knew that even though I wanted you back so bad, I would still miss Wanda. We _all_ still need her. Well, that and the fact that you and O'Shea over there would probably kill me, either together or on your own." He laughed and gestured toward Ian, who was clutching a CYROTANK. Wanda was safe!

Ian smiled at me warmly, nodding a hello. I realized that although I knew all these people just as well as Wanda did, I had never actually met most of them personally in my life. Suddenly I felt very awkward.

"Hi everybody," I said, smiling sheepishly. Smiling _my_ smile. "I'm Melanie. I guess we have a lot of catching up to do."

Author's notes: - so yeah I don't own The Host or any of the characters and la de dah and all that crap.

- I hope you like this story so far, and for those of you who do, I promise chapter 2 is on

its way!!! :)


	2. Nightmares

Chapter 2: Nightmares

I smiled as I watched Jared sleeping next to me, listening to his steady breathing. At least one of us was getting some sleep. I hadn't been sleeping very well lately, and I didn't want to be another thing for Jared to worry about, so I hadn't told him. Of course he would have wanted to know, but he would have tried to sit up with me, and I just couldn't sleep. The dreams were too vivid, too disturbing. In a few days, Jared would be leaving with Jamie and Ian to go on a raid and find another human host for Wanda.

I had been having nightmares about something terrible happening to Jared and Jamie. I was so sick with worry when they first devised the plan that I had worried myself into having nightmares about the raid going terribly wrong. With each dream there was a different scenario. Jamie being snatched by the Seekers when Jared wasn't looking, Jared driving too fast on the highway only to be discovered when he was pulled over and his eyes were checked. The possibilities were endless, and these were what haunted me every night. And what made me angry was the fact that they were sure I was too fragile to go with them. I found it hard to be angry with Jared, because he was only trying to protect me; he didn't want to lose me again. But _I_ didn't want to lose _him_, and did he really have to take Jamie? Yes, Jamie was the one who wanted to go, but why did Jared have to say yes? I mean he was almost fifteen, but he was still a child to me.

I sat up and reached for the bottle of water next to the bed. I drank slowly until I realized how thirsty I was. Suddenly I couldn't get enough water fast enough, and thanks to my carelessness, I choked violently on the water. Not wanting to wake Jared, I coughed into my pillow until it subsided, took one final sip, then put the bottle to the side as I turned cautiously to look at him. He rolled over and groaned, then opened his eyes.

"Sorry," I said, blushing.

"It's okay," he yawned. I could see his smile even in the darkness. He was always so patient with me.

He sat up next to me and I felt his lips brush my shoulder. My skin burned at the touch. Even now, after all this time, his touch still burned like fire on my skin. I hoped it would never go away. "Mel, what's bothering you?" he whispered. Maybe he had figured me out after all.

"Nothing," I said, and I new immediately that my feeble attempt at a lie had failed. I was no better an actor than Wanda.

"You look tired," he said. "Baby tell me what's going on."

I couldn't keep it from him anymore. It was stupid not to tell him in the first place. "I've been having nightmares," I admitted.

"About what?" he asked, concerned.

"About...about bad things happening to you and Jamie when you go to find a new body for Wanda. They've been keeping me up every night for the past week. I worried myself so much that I guess it's been carried over into my dreams too."

"Oh, Mel." he sighed, frustrated. "We've been over this. We did raids before you and Wanda were here, and we'll do just fine with this one. This is no different than any other raid."

"Yes it is. You haven't gone on a raid for people in a long time...at least not without Wanda with you. Snatching supplies and snatching bodies are two very different things. Jared, at least let me come with you...please. It's not fair that I have to stay behind. You're no better at pretending to be one of them than I am. This really isn't fair, and I think it should be my decision whether I go or stay." I thought I was making a pretty good case.

"Mel, I just got you back. I'm not putting you at risk again, and I'm not letting you put yourself at risk either. If I have to get Jeb to bind and gag you, I'll do it," he warned. That familiar gleam was in his eye, and I knew that he didn't mean it.

"You wouldn't dare," I said, glaring at him. "Look Jared, I'm being serious here. You say you're worried about me getting hurt, but what about you and Jamie? I just got the two of you back too, and I don't see what the point is of keeping me here to protect me if you're just going to go die."

I was sure that Jared would be mad at me, but he just burst out laughing. He fell back on the bed until finally managed to compose himself. Then he sat back up.

"Seriously Mel?" he chuckled, kissing my face repeatedly. He was still shaking with bits of laughter. He moved to my neck, trying to distract me.

"Stop it Jared," I said, whacking him with my pillow. But he had me laughing too.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, but seriously, I'm not taking no for an answer. If you and Jamie are going then so am I. That's it. Like I said, it's my decision anyway."

"You're serious aren't you?"

"You think?" As frustrated as I was with him, I found it impossible to stay mad for long. I wasn't giving up though.

"I will hear no more about this tonight," he declared, and with that he lay back down, pulling me with him. I put my head on his chest and listened to the calming rhythm of his heartbeat, absently tracing patterns on his skin. It didn't take long before he was asleep again, and I was left alone with my thoughts again...

...until a hand pulled back the green screen that served as our door.

"Jamie?" I whispered into the darkness. But it was when the figure stepped into the small room that I realized whoever it was was much too tall to be Jamie, and he said nothing besides a muttering of one name:

"Wanda."


	3. Confrontation

Chapter 3: Confrontation

It took me only a second to recognize the uncharacteristically eerie voice: Ian. It took me less than a second to realize without even looking at Jared that he was livid. I waited for the yelling to start, wondering just how long Ian had been standing there and just how much he had seen.

"O'SHEA!" Jared shouted. "Get OUT!" He sprung from the bed, reaching for his clothes as Ian ducked out of the room. I could still see his shadow as he stood outside our room.

"I'm sorry," Ian muttered, once again in that unusually eerie voice. "I only wanted to see Wanda. I missed her."

It didn't take me long to realize that Ian was sleepwalking; however Jared was not so quick. He was out the door before I could say anything, beating Ian with force that I hadn't seen him use since...well, that didn't matter anymore. It was in the past. If I didn't do something soon, Ian would be beaten to a pulp in a matter of seconds.

"Jared stop!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, hoping someone else in the caves would wake up. Preferably Jeb, who would hopefully bring his gun. "He's just sleepwalking. He doesn't realize what he's doing. Let me handle it."

He stopped hitting Ian, who was now in a heap on the floor, to stare at me with a dumbfounded look. If it weren't for the circumstances, it might have actually been funny. I tried to keep a straight face as I waited for a response.

"...Oh. But honestly Mel, if what I just did to him didn't wake him up, then what can you really do about it?" he questioned. Then sarcastically he added, "What are you going to do, sing him awake?"

"If it works, yes." I retorted. I loved the man, but sometimes he really knew how to piss me off. He really did an outstanding job of it on those rare occasions. "Just give me a minute with him. I'm usually pretty good with this sort of thing. If we talk to him quietly he'll be more likely to wake up than if you just beat him relentlessly."

"How do you know so much?"

"Jamie used to sleepwalk all the time when he was a little kid. I'm used to this sort of thing." I said smugly.

"Oh. Sorry. Well get dressed and get out here while I still have the ability to restrain myself." He would be patient for now, but I knew it wouldn't last long.

I was out the door and at Ian's side in less than two minutes. He had been kind to me the day they took Wanderer out of my body and put her in the cyrotank, but ever since then he had shied away every time I had walked into the same room he was in. I knew why...to him I was still Wanda, and I guessed that in a way he would always see some of her in me, even after she was inserted into another host. But none of that mattered right now. What mattered was getting Ian to wake up so the rest of us could get a little sleep...at least those of us that weren't plagued by nightmares anyway.

"Ian, can you hear me?" I asked him, almost in a whisper. Then, on the off-chance that Jared had beaten him awake, "Are you awake?"

"Wanda," Ian whispered. He had a blank, vacant look in his eyes and I knew that if he was conscious at all that it was only a little.

"No Ian, not Wanda," I whispered back, feeling tears form in my eyes. I missed her too. "It's Melanie. You're dreaming. Wake up, Ian. Please wake up."

I knelt beside him and stroked his cheek gently with the back of my hand, looking up at Jared just in time to see him shudder and turn away. I knew it must have been hard for him to see me do this. He'd had to watch for a long time as Ian had chased after me, but it wasn't me he had been after. It had only been my body and the Soul inside of it; but not my soul. I wondered what effect the transition into Wanda's new body would have on him.

Finally after about ten minutes, Ian blinked once and sat up. _Please, please let him be awake_, I prayed. If we couldn't wake him there was a distinct possibility that we'd have to wait until he woke up on his own, which could take all night.

"Melanie?" he asked, confusion and bewilderment in his voice. "What am I doing here?"

_Thank goodness_, I thought. _He doesn't remember it._ There was no need for all of us to be embarrassed and be awkward around each other for the next two or three weeks.

"You were sleepwalking. Jared and I heard you outside our room talking to yourself, so we came out to see what was going on, but everything's fine" I lied smoothly.

"Then why am I bleeding?"

I looked down and noticed Ian's bleeding lip and the beginnings of a black eye. "You must have tripped on the way here," I lied again, looking down. "Don't worry we'll get you taken care of."

"You bet we will," a harsh voice boomed from the end of the tunnel: Jeb. "There's no way he's going with them on that raid."


	4. Decisions, Decisions

Chapter 4: Decisions, Decisions

Ian, now fully conscious, stared at Jeb with that blank look he'd had when he was still half-conscious. We all waited for Jeb to speak again, but he seemed to be waiting for a response from Ian. Giving him a minute to take in his surroundings and let what he said sink in; which it did.

"What do you mean, _I'm not going_?" Ian croaked.

"I mean exactly what I said. You're. Not. Goin'." Jeb retorted.

"Uncle Jeb," I started. "You can't just say something like that and not back it up. What is th–" I stopped when Jared glared at me. Jeb had his gun, and no one dared question him in that case. I laughed to myself, knowing that he would sooner shoot both Jared and Ian than me, but I humored Jared and bit my tongue.

Jeb saw our exchange of glances and smiled knowingly. "I'll be glad to explain, sweetheart. Just calm down," he said.

"Yes. Please do enlighten us," Ian snapped, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, O'Shea," Jared said harshly.

"_Both_ 'o y'all better shut up before I shoot the two of you." Jeb held the gun up to show he wasn't bluffing. The words _my house, my rules_ rang in my head.

"Now," Jeb said, "I do realize how important it is to you that you get to go on this raid. However, I don't think you realize that what just happened could get you and the rest of us killed."

"But Jeb," I couldn't help interrupting, "Ian hasn't done this up until tonight...maybe we could give it another week and see how he does. We could have people watch him at night to see if he sleepwalks, and then we can make a decision."

"Mel." Jared finally spoke. "We don't have the time for that. We're going to need to go on another raid for food and supplies in less than a week, and I don't think any of us feels comfortable doing that anymore without Wanda."

"You've done it before."

"But if we have the choice of whether or not to take her with us it would be stupid not to, Mel. We put all of our lives at risk before, but only because we had to. Things changed when you and Wanda showed up," Jared argued.

I knew everything Jared was said was true. Before Wanda and I showed up, they did what they had to do to survive. We – well, Wanda anyway – had made surviving easier for them. For us. Wanda was in a cyrotank, practically in the next room. We were going to get a new body soon, and...wait.

"Jared," I said, "This whole argument has been pointless. We're not going to have Wanda with us when we go to get her a new host anyway. We could go get someone and get supplies in the same trip. That would leave us a little more time to see if Ian will be a problem."

"Snatching supplies and snatching bodies are two different things, Mel." Jared was using my own words against me. I should have seen that one coming.

"You know," Jeb said, "my niece is right about one thing. This whole argument has been pointless, but only because you all know that I'm the one who'll be making the decision."

Ian, who had been sitting quietly for all this time, tried to give his two cents. "If I could just say one thing..."

"Shut yer trap," Jeb ordered. "All of you. I'm starting to lose my patience now. This is the way it's gonna be. Jared, you beat Ian or anyone else that way without assessing the situation again, you're gonna be sorry." He waved the gun in the air. "Melanie, you will live with my decision no matter what and you will not do any meddling. Ian, I know you really want to go with them. But I can't let you do that. We don't know that you haven't been sleepwalking before this, and we don't know it won't happen again. You could walk off in the middle of the night if you go on that raid, and give us all away. Do you really want to put your family at risk?"

"No. No I don't. You're right. It would be selfish of me to go. I should stay here," Ian admitted.

"It's settled then," Jeb finalized. "I suggest we all try to go back to bed for a few hours. Especially you, Jared. You're gonna need all the rest you can get if you want to have a successful raid in a couple days."

That was when I realized that if I was going to convince Jared and Jeb to let me go on the raid, now would be the time. "Uncle Jeb? I've been wanting to talk to you about something." Jared's jaw nearly hit the floor; he knew what was coming. Not caring how upset he would be, I continued anyway. "I want to go with Jared and Jamie, and I'm not taking no for an answer."


	5. Apologies

Chapter 5: Apologies

(_One day before the raid_)

Jared was angry with me, there was no getting around that. I had gotten my way easily with Jeb, but honestly, he should have seen that coming. Jeb knew that I wouldn't take no for an answer, but it didn't matter; the crazy old man had never been able to say no to me since I was a little girl. I just had a way with him, I guess.

Unfortunately for me, Jared was not so forgiving. He'd been against my going on the raid to begin with. I knew he only wanted to keep me safe, but who was going to keep him safe? Besides, Jamie was going with him anyway, and if there was a risk of losing one or both of them, I wasn't going to sit in the caves day after day waiting for them to come back or to find out they were dead. But I knew Jared would forgive me in time. It was Ian who we would have the trouble with.

Ian hadn't been angry with me at first; after all I had defended him when Jeb said he wouldn't be allowed to go on the raid. But I had also done something terrible. When I knew that my hardheaded uncle would never change his mind, I decided to use that to my advantage. After I had told Jeb I wanted to go, I used Ian's absence to convince Jeb to let me go on the raid. They would need another person anyway, and for all the time that my body had not been my own, I deserved to spend my time however I saw fit, and no one was going to stop me.

As much as I was dreading it, I knew I had to apologize to Ian. I wasn't sorry that I was going on the raid, I was just sorry that I was replacing someone else. I hadn't used him...it just happened to look that way.

Ian had been hiding all day long; I had done his chores in addition to my own, and Jeb did not object. He knew that Ian would need some time, and we all knew that he would pull his more than his fair share of the weight once we were gone, which would only be in less than a day.

I found him in the place where he and Wanda had hidden on one of the many days they had spent together; he was hiding in the corn field – or what served as a corn field for us anyway. He was just sitting there staring off into nothing, obviously deep in thought. I sat down next to him and waited for him to acknowledge me, but since he didn't, I spoke first.

"Hey..." I let my voice trail off as I reached for the words I was looking for. "Look, I'm really sorry if it seemed like I was using you as an excuse to go on the raid. That's not what it was about, although I know it looked that way. I was going to talk to Jeb about it anway– well I guess I shouldn't be making excuses, should I? Um..."

"I'm not mad at you," he said, but I could tell his mind was somewhere else. Still, so far this was going easier than I thought it would.

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered.

"Well...I'm glad you're going to get Wanda a new – this sounds so weird – host, but I've just been wondering how I'm going to react when I see her in a different body. I mean, isn't it obvious why I was sleepwalking the other night? I was dreaming of Wanda, but in a way I was also dreaming of you. I still look for her in you. I've never seen her in a different body...it's always been yours and I'm just so confused. I'm afraid I'm going to end up rejecting her initially because it won't be the same, and I don't want to hurt her. I had always convinced myself that I love her for who she is, but since the whole incident, I've started to second-guess myself."

"Ian, look at me," I said firmly, grabbing his chin and pulling his head up, forcing him to look. "You don't have anything to prove to anybody, including yourself. It's very clear that you love Wanda purely because of who she is. Just look at all of your determination to keep her alive when you knew that Doc's orders were to do otherwise. That should be proof enough for anyone, but especially you."

He looked at me and smiled. "Thank you," he said. "I needed to hear that. You know, I was angry at you for a little while, but then I realized how great it is that Jeb decided to let you go on the raid. You and Wanda have a bond that I never understood. And you deserve it after having another living thing inside your head for all that time – literally." He was making corny jokes. That was a good sign.

I smiled back. "So I was on my way to get something to eat...do you want to come with me?"

"Nah. I think I'm actually going to stay here for awhile. I'll eat later. And in case I don't see you before you leave tomorrow...be safe and good luck." He kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you, I will," I said.

Jared was leaving just as I was about to enter the small room that served as the kitchen. We nearly collided. I wanted to say something, apologize, but I bit my tongue. He was being stubborn and ridiculous, and it wasn't going to change anything. Besides, I didn't have anything to apologize for. I was planning on ignoring him and walking past him, but he surprised me by grabbing my wrist as I was about to go in. I turned to face him. He kissed me gently on the forehead, then stood back and looked at me with a pained look in his eyes. I knew it would kill him if anything happened to me, but that went both ways. He didn't say a word to me as he turned and quickly walked away.

I ate in silence while Jamie sat animatedly beside me and chattered endlessly in his excitement about the raid. I laughed to myself when I thought about how he probably wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. Maybe I would get Jeb to talk to him, or better yet convince him to stay here.

When I arrived back at the room I shared with Jared, he looked like he was already asleep, although I could never be sure. Either way I didn't expect him to speak to me tonight; he hadn't for the past two.

Just in case he was asleep, I slipped into the room as quietly as possible and slid quietly onto the mattress and under the blanket, not facing Jared. I felt him turn over, and he put his arms around me, holding me tightly.

"Mel..." he choked out. It almost sounded like he had been crying. "If anything happens to you..."

"It will be entirely my fault," I interrupted. "I wanted to do this. It was my decision. And if you think about it, I've done this before. Every time Wanda went on a raid, I was right there beside you. Don't forget that."

"I love you," he whispered. "And I'm sorry. I just don't know what I would do if..."

I turned to face him. "Which is why we're not going to think about it. We're in this together. I love you. And nothing's going to happen. Nothing."


End file.
